He’d tease me aboutAll the shoes that I wore.How they littered the closet,Yet I still wanted more. I’d chide him about Towels tossed on the bedAfter he showered, Why not the towel rack instead? He’d point out the cabinets That I’d leave ajar.And ...

Lao tzu said,Do you have the patience to wait til your mud settles And the water is clear? So I sit things out,While I scream and shout.I hug your pillow, Overwhelmed with doubt. I hear the clocks tick,And watch the paint dry,I ...

This first year of firsts…My God, how it hurtsTo be without you.Like getting hit by a bus, I surrender To the impact.I wonder ifYou know that These days are so hard.Especially this next oneThat honors our union.It won’t be much fun ...

Yes, I’ll be there!I heard myself say.While deep in my gutWasn’t sure I could stay. I gather with friends,Pretend that I careAbout anything other thanMy man who’s not there. I’m told to be social,To not isolate.But most conversationJust seems to ...

Terror-filled evenings,53 last year alone.The nights before the daysWhere we heard ourselves groan As we climbed into the car.Didn’t need to drive far,But we felt our hearts thumping,Like heading to war. We braced for the news,Which was rarely good.The doctor ...

I need you here To help fold the sheets,Fill hummingbird feeders,Choose airline seats. I want you to helpChange the propane tank,Get rid of the bugsThat hide on the deck. I imagine your handsThat chopped up the foodAnd adorned our tableWith candles, ...

Grief is like a hungry dogThat stares me in the face,Wanting to be fed, drooling all over the place. It begs for attention until I relent,Give in and feed it.But it’s never enough,Nothing makes a dent. It follows me ‘round ...

Waking up, I reach for his hand.Or maybe the warm spotWhen he rolled over to standTo make coffee. But like grabbing sand,My hand comes back empty. I look at the ceiling,Or his picture nearbyAnd let out a sigh.(Often, I cry). ...

It hardly seems right,It doesn’t seem fairThat weekends just crush meWithout you here. The butcher chirps, “just one?”As I pick out my steak.His words cut right through me…Sharp. Deep. I find things to do,And places to go.I’ll work on his ...

In my houseThe Grief Ditch Waits. It’s widening mouth shifts,I often missAnd stumble, drift, sink down. And Love surrounds me With her nod, and hands From friends catch meAs I fall into her lap. And it is good again. ...