Coming up on 33
Years together, Jay and me.
Another first, but not the last,
My heart will burst. I try to fast
Forward past the day ahead.
I try to push away the dread
That weakens me.
I pace endlessly.
So often I am short of breath.
It feels so wrong, his stupid death.
We’ll scatter ashes in a place
He loved so well, I’ll have to brace
Myself while on the boat
And watch him quietly float
Away.