Discover why grief feels stuck physically, and how compassionate movement can gently help you find relief.
When you lose your spouse, your whole world changes — and your body knows it.
A host of reactions erupt due to a surge of stress hormones such as cortisol. Breathing becomes shallow. Muscles tighten as though bracing for impact or preparing to flee. Sleep may be restless, and even your digestion can get messed up.
For some of us, this “fight, flight, or freeze” state lingers long after the funeral flowers fade. The body holds on to stress and keeps grief close, almost as if protecting us — but in doing so, it can trap us in a cycle of pain, exhaustion, and numbness. Those are physical manifestations, not emotional ones.
Researchers who study grief call this the embodied experience of loss. In plain words: grief isn’t just in your head or your heart. It’s in your tissues, your posture, your breath. And because it lives in the body, the body itself is key to releasing it.
How Gentle Movement Can Help You Release It
If you’ve ever felt grief sitting like an anchor in your chest, a stone in your gut, or a knot in your throat that never goes away, you’re not alone. Many widows describe grief not just as an emotion, but as a physical presence — tight shoulders, a pounding heart, a hollow belly, or even the sensation of being frozen in place. I personally remember sitting (or mostly curled up) on the couch, minutes… then hours… then day turning to night turning to day with absolutely no idea of the time. Physically frozen, time standing still.
That’s because grief doesn’t live only in our thoughts. It makes its home in our bodies too. And it often gets stuck there.
Studies now show that gentle, loving movement can help loosen the grip grief has on your body. You don’t have to run marathons or hit the gym hard. Small, intentional motions — walking, stretching, dancing to a favorite song in your kitchen — can begin to shift the physical weight of sorrow out of your body. Science supports this, but perhaps more importantly, so do the lived experiences of widows, including myself, who have taken that first tentative step forward.
How Movement Unlocks Grief
You don’t have to be an athlete to experience the healing power of movement. What matters is the way moving your body can shift your inner landscape in three profound ways:
- It soothes your nervous system.
When you walk, stretch, or move rhythmically, your body sends signals of safety to your brain. Cortisol drops, your breath deepens, and feel-good chemicals like endorphins rise. Many widows notice that even a 10-minute walk helps them feel lighter, calmer, and more able to face the day. - It helps release what’s been “held.”
Think of how dogs shake themselves after being startled — they’re literally discharging stress from their bodies. Humans can do this too, though often more subtly. Gentle bouncing, stretching, swaying, or yoga can help the body let go of tension that grief locked into your muscles. - It reconnects you with life.
Movement is not only physical; it’s also emotional and social. A short walk with a friend, joining a tai chi class, or tending to your garden brings you back into relationship with the world. It creates moments of connection and vitality that grief may have stolen from you.
What the Research Shows
Scientists are beginning to catch up with what many widows already know: moving helps.
A review of studies on bereavement and exercise found that physical activity can improve both emotional wellbeing and physical health after loss.
Somatic (body-based) therapies — which focus on sensations, movement, and awareness — are showing promise in helping people work through trauma and prolonged grief.
Clinical trials are even exploring yoga as a specific practice for grief, showing early evidence that it may calm stress circuits in the brain and body.
After Jay died, I attended 5 or 6 grief yoga sessions at the local hospice. It was hard to push myself to go – honestly, my home was my safe space, my refuge! But once I went, surrounded by others who were grieving, I had a sense of peace and even greater connection to something beyond just me and my loss. It was powerful. And the effects lasted for days afterward.
While more research is needed, the message is clear: your body is not the enemy in grief. It can be the pathway to healing.
Gentle Ways to Begin Moving Through Grief
No one can replace the person we’ve lost. But over time, I learned that forming new relationships—whether If you feel weighed down and weary, please know — you don’t need to start big. Here are a few simple entry points:
Take a short daily walk. Even 10 minutes around your block. Breathe deeply, notice your feet, and let each step remind you that you’re still moving forward, one moment at a time.
Stretch what feels tight. Reach your arms overhead, roll your shoulders, or lie on the floor and gently twist your spine. Imagine making space for your breath and your sorrow.
Try restorative yoga. Simple, supported poses can help you soften into your body, especially when sleep and rest feel elusive.
Move with music. Choose a song that touches your heart and allow your body to sway, tap, or dance however it wants. Sometimes grief needs to move in rhythm.
Join with others. A walking group, a gentle fitness class, or a shared activity can help you feel less alone while also tending to your body.
A Note of Care
If moving brings up overwhelming emotion, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong — it means your body is speaking. If those feelings feel too big, it can help to move more slowly, or to seek out a grief-informed therapist who understands the connection between body and loss. And if you are struggling with thoughts of hopelessness or self-harm, please reach out right away for professional help. You do not have to walk this path alone.
Your Body Carries Healing
Your grief is real. It is heavy, it is complex, and it may feel like it has taken up residence inside your very bones. You don’t have to “get over it.” You don’t have to rush. But you can take one step, one stretch, one breath — and in doing so, remind yourself that your body can also carry healing.
Grief lives in the body. And through gentle movement, so does recovery.